You mentioned your rev. is there someone who you know through you church or through the denomination who can help you? I am very afraid that even if your wife is in therapy, she might not be able to notice if your daughter needs help or protect her if the cocaine interferes with someone's judgement. I cannot stress enough how scary this situation is. I know you are doing what you can, but see if maybe you can't get some more support around you right now. Sometimes the kid has to come first, even if ´how you deal with the mother is important also. Huggs and I will be keeping you in my prayers.