I think it is pretty natural to wish him suffering to know your pain even if it is toxic. That said we know it is important to not let toxic thinking in or it can easily consume us and change us into someone we don't want to be. Like with Marjan if you did see him in pain you would feel badly for him and that is who you are and who you want to continue to be. A loving, caring person who is currently mending a broken heart. It is best for you to wish him well which in turn brings you healing rather than entertaining bad wishes that keep you hooked to the pain without any gain.

Off topic..... I need.... want.... feel compelled.... to comment on the assumption that happiness is all in our minds. No doubt that is true and I work it all the time but ignoring negative thoughts is sometimes a lot easier said than done. I know I am over sensitive to this topic because I get a lot of the 'snap out of it' and 'think positive' advice from friends and family so it is easy for any discussion about 'happiness is in the mind' to take me to a sensitive and defensive place. Hell, I teach the stuff so I know it is true but sometimes its not easy and even down right impossible when the mind is dysfunctioning.... due to mental illness. I am judged and criticized by myself and others for not being able to maintain a truthful happy persona from one day to the next. For using mental illness like a crutch for something I could control if I choose to... if I want to be happy all I need to do is 'just' think happy thoughts. blah blah blah Think postively, think positively. Yes. I get it. And it works.... I know that too... but it can be short lived and fleeting. People in my life assume I choose to be negative when I could choose to be positive. Who does that? they ask while waving a 'give up on you' hand back at me. Get over yourself is pretty much what people think about me when I tell them I am having a bad day so for the most part I fake it and keep encounters with others short and sweet. It is enough to stop myself from blaming myself and beating myself up for loosing the battle with negative thinking let alone battling other peoples' assumptions about me too. I guess I want to know someone in my life gets how hard it is sometimes. When the negative is just so invasive and the effort to think positively exhausts me I want someone in my life to to say, 'Its okay. Its not your fault. It is hard and I am amazed you are still fighting.' Instead they say, 'just think postively and relax.' I want someone to come into my head and just see how hard it can be sometimes. I want someone to understand the struggle it really is to push away the negative thoughts and feelings. I will have a day without the battle and actually have a taste of happiness and even think 'hey this is easy' only to wake the next day in the midst of a war zone with the negative thinking consuming every minute of every hour of my attention. My only defense is to counter the negative with positive but it is bloody exhausting just to stop the spiralling until something in my head breaks and the negativity retreats for an unpredictable period of time. The positive thinking for all its power doesn't produce happiness for me it just prevented the negative from destroying me. For as long as I can remember all I have ever wanted out of life is to be happy. Just to be happy. Consumed with negative thinking makes that really tough. Having good days and bad days with no apparent determining factors continues to defy logic for me. Yes think positively but if it doesn't work sometimes don't hate yourself for it. Just love yourself through every minute of every day no matter what.

Sorry... I know I am over reacting to good and solid advice. I don't mean to offend anyone here and I probably should not have dumped my own drama here either because I know I am preaching to the choir. After all PC is the place where people do understand and know how I feel and where I come for comfort. I am venting to those who aren't even here to read this. Forgive me my self indulgence.

Thinking happy thoughts for you and all of us. The sun is shining in my part of the world today and my garden is whispering invitations through my open window. Think I will go indulge in some earth therapy for a while.

Be well sweet friends.