I was doing really well for a while until I found this.

Oh wow. I don't know what to do about this. I don't know what to think.

I was looking for some paperwork that I need to file for my SSDI for a name change on my SS card. I haven't seen it since I moved a year ago, so I need to look everywhere. Unfortunately m husband and I are very disorganized about how we file papers and this particular paper could be anywhere in the house including basement and garage.

When I was done searching the basement with no luck, I decided to search the bedroom. I was looking in my night table with no luck and then decided to look in myhusband's night table. He often stored papers there. i was not snooping at all, but when I looked in the bottom drawer, I found a few men's magazines. I have no problem with that. If he wants to read them it is his business. Then I saw some pink material. I wish I hadn't seen it. It was a pair of women's panties. They were not in the greatest shape. There was a hole in them, and they were definitely not washed. They do not belong to me. I don't have any in that particular style and they are not my size.

What do I think about this? All the options bother me.

Here is what is going through my mind in no particular order:

1. He is cheating on me
2. An internet "friend" sent them to him
3. He bought them from somewhere
4. He kept a pair from an old ex (we have been together for 6.5 years, married for three, time to get rid of ex girlfriend's undies.)
5. He wears them himself

I have had the thought of leaving him when I was having major bipolar symptoms, and we have been working that out in therapy. I came to realize that my mind goes straight to divorce when my symptoms get bad.

However, cheating and secrecy is a deal breaker for me, and finding someone else's undies isn't a delusion or hallusination. I held thenm in my hands. Then I washed my hands for a long time.

What the hell do I do?