From what I know of you Kimmy, to what you say there I would say NO to each statement.

You are a good person.
You are a good mom.
You're good.
You're kind.
You definitely make a difference.

And you aren't failing.

Nobody can be perfect but from what I've seen you do a great job of managing to keep the balance in your life... working through the DID and being a good wife/mother etc, especially since nobody knows about the DID. Trying does matter... you were saying just the other day that you can see the huge progress made in the past few months or so. Keep trying! You're not a failure!