I have struggled with establishing a strong sense of self for many, many reasons, and for 3 years it has been a strong theme in my therapy. Now I am focusing on establishing my individuality in my marriage. H and I were married fairly young and have been together for over 30 years. We have been through an awful lot with one another and have a great deal of mutual love and respect. H and I are best friends, very close, but our desire to care for each other diminishes self growth. It is scary for both of us. I have very carefully begun talking about this with H and T has been encouraging me. Today as I drove home I realized I am also afraid of separating from T; the desire to be myself is strong, yet so is my desire to be with him. I want to be myself and I want to be just like T when I grow up!