Truffles,
No, my wife hasn't seen a counselor yet. I believe she is going to start going in a couple weeks when she returns from her business trip. I have been begging her to go since I started seeing my counselor. I think that even if she does decide to divorce me, a couselor can help her over come a lot of the anger, frustrationa and pain I have caused her. I would suggest you do the same. You can't help your husband if you are angry and hurting inside. You'll build up resentment (if it isn't already there) and that will do neither of you any good. Go with your husband to his appointments if you can so you can give his Dr. your views on how he is doing. I know for me it is hard for me to tell my Dr. and Therapist how I am doing because my moods are still swinging up and down and I just don't know what normal is yet.
It is hard and some days will be harder than others, but in the end it will be worth it, at least I hope and pray it is...
I'm lucky in a way, my brother went through this with stage I so I know how family and friends react. I also know that counseling helps.
Where I was unlucky was that no one ever told me there were multiple stages or I would have gotten myself help sooner rather than thinking I could handle it myself. I am now VERY sorry I didn't get the help and that I've literally put three wives through hell with my illness.