My boyfriend gets irritated with me a lot. Personally, I think he blows things out of proportion (i.e. I forgot to do a chore), but if those things are really that important to him, he has every right to be angry with me. Plus, I'm not as orderly and tidy as he is, and I'm rather lazy, so his irritation is definitely warranted. But when he is angry, he clams up. He'll go for days or weeks acting irritated and taciturn, stomping around and making loud noises and saying very little to me. When I ask him what's wrong, he says "nothing." But that's clearly not the truth. He gets more irritated with me for asking, even though he knows I'm autistic and have a hard time with nonverbal cues. The problem is, because I have PTSD from child abuse, the loud noises and "silent treatment," plus the things he gets mad about are so reminiscent of my abusive mother's behaviours that I get extremely nervous and unhappy, to the point that I am desperate for the situation to end. I just sit there in silence, extremely anxious, and become incredibly meek and obedient to try to make him less mad. I even often find myself wishing he'd scream at me and beat me up like my mom did to end my...suspense, I suppose. I've explained to him that his behaviour is triggering and retraumatising for me, but he says he needs that time to find the words to express his anger in a tactful way (I don't find it particularly tactful when he does express it (it seems rather confrontational to me), but then again I am over-sensitive to criticism...and he never yells), and I should stop being so nervous and upset by it; my anxiety about it isn't healthy for either of us. So how do I cope with these inappropriate feelings toward his being irritated? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!