i was terrified everyone would find out too, and i tried sharing it with my mom hoping she'd help me and nobody else had to know, and she told EVERYONE... people i'm not even related to.

so i turn to my brother. he has come over at 4am to clean me up when i go too far, and he doesn't tell anyone, and he doesn't look at me funny. he just helps.

i think everyone that SI's needs somebody like that. i take my meds and i talk to my doctor about if i'm getting better, but during panic attacks only my ex or cutting can calm me down, and all i have now is cutting.