Hey Tay, talking about the feelings wouldn't come under CBT. If you actually experienced abandonment in your life you formed these feelings and more likely than not you didn't get a chance to process them. These feelings will stick with you then until you express and process them. If you leave them there they will continue to trigger you. Express and process them and they will dissipate.
I don't think that you necessarily need to talk about how unlovable you think you are in therapy. You just need to express those feelings. We feel many things that aren't true. In order to work on these things they must be identified and expressed because they certainly affect our thoughts and behavior.
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Originally Posted by TayQuincy
If I am thinking thoughts, like i am unloveable because my mother abandoned me when I was little, how does it help me to feel those sad feelings that follow?
I don't think the feelings follow. The feelings occur in response to the actual abandonment. The feelings then cause the thoughts. It is a 2 way street. Thoughts can cause feelings but feelings can also cause thoughts.
It's not true that I am unloveble and that thought causes lots of other problems when I allow myself to keep thinking that.
Something actually occurred which caused you to feel unlovable - abandonment. Of course as an adult you can process what happened and see that you were abandoned because your mother had issues that had nothing to do with you. But as a child you felt unlovable because you WERE abandoned. You can talk circles around that in therapy but these thoughts will not leave your subconscious for good until you express those childhood feelings in therapy and process them so that you can release them. If you leave those thoughts locked away they will affect your thoughts and behavior forever.
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I guess with the CBT there is the model and then the way that it is practiced. I have heard many comments from people who are told their thoughts are irrational and that they must change. These comments are in this thread right here. Of course there are therapists who practice it well!