I take Abilify along with my Effexor XR (which I didn't think I was on...) and had a reaction to the Abilify. I was just taking 2.5mg, increased it to 5mg because I was so down (5mg is what was my original dosage, but because I had reactions to it I had to cut it back to 2.5mg.) Well, we had to cut my dose back again to 2.5mg and now I'm feeling really depressed and down again. I know, or at least I hope, that it will pass soon and I'll just be back to feeling blah instead of near tears and depressed all day long. I'm crying just writing this!! I get so frustrated and don't know what to do! I'm still in my pj's and don't have the energy to do a darn thing... I'm afraid my husband will get upset with me. He called and got me up this morning saying it was time I got out of bed (it was 9am) and I felt so bad that I slept so long - he told me he had already made 3 of his 5 stops today on this route load and I felt even worse because he's been up since 2am this morning. He always makes me feel guilty - I think he is running out of patience with me.... He's getting more vocal and puts me down just a little each day and it's not helping me at all. And yesterday we got another denial for my SSDI.... That was the frosting on the cake! I just went down hill last night - he noticed and was extra caring and wouldn't go to bed until he knew I was going to be okay. I don't think he means to make me feel guilty but he's been getting worse each week... even blowing up at me in front of my best friend (and only friend). I was so embarrassed I wanted to just crawl in a hole and die!! I know I have to let it go - but I tend to hang on to all the negative things that happen to me. I don't feel that I deserve any thing good in my life because I'm such a burden to my family... I just don't want to be anymore... I pray everynight that God will take me in my sleep - but I wake up and have to endure another day. God want's me here for a reason - I guess to endure more and more pain. But why - I've never hurt anyone. But God must feel that I be punished so I have to live in pain every day.

I'm sorry for the ranting and pity party - I don't mean for this to sound like a pity partyl, so in advance, I'm sorry.