Hi inky,

No disrespect or ill-will intended here, but you said,

Can't wait to talk to my T and hear what he thinks.

That could be the one thing that this is all about.

Attention from T.

I'm only thinking this because people usually just don't decide to SI. It's usually done, at least at first, in a trancelike mode of despair and escape. And the shame from it is overwhelming, not celebrated.

Again, no disrespect. I could be way off.

Just a thought.

Petunia