Good to hear Belle you are keeping up with the yoga. I have yet to crack open my yoga videos but working in the garden for a few hours most days now that spring is on the horizon is stretching the old bones and muscles. The sunshine is getting me outside more and I benefit a lot from spending time in nature. It is also where I am able to focus best on the 'now'. It is like an active meditation. I declare my time in the garden or walking in the forest as 'no thinking time'. I only observe what is and push all other thoughts and concerns away. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about 'stuff' and have to remind myself again that I am in a 'no thinking zone'.

I still get flash thoughts of Dennis out of no where now and then. Romanticizing what could have been if..., what could still be again if.... They take me nowhere useful of course so like you I push them away and get on with life accepting what is and giving thanks for the memories. I am fortunate that we are still each others best friend but that took time to evolve and since we share a son it makes us better parents. I am yet to be tested with the news that he has a new partner in his life but as time goes by I feel more prepared and in fact find myself hoping he does because I know how much he would like that to happen.

I too appreciate what you are sharing Marjn. I have been practicing meditation and studying Buddist teachings for a few years now.... irregularly but it always draws me back to its peaceful centredness. It is very compatable to other old teachings and belief systems that I have learned over the years to incorporate into my life. Teaching that remind me of the importance of being present, in touch with and nurturing of my whole self... physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Mostly medicine wheel teachings of my ancestral people.

I hear you about The Secret. It is a very commercialized version and exploited mis-use in my opinion of an old truth. Setting intentions for things you want to come into your life has value in that it can focus you to create positive energy but I think if misunderstood people fail to gain from it as a mindset and get lost instead searching for elusive dreams that fall short.

I wonder if either of you have read any of Ekhart Tolle's books. The Power of Now and A New Earth. He has a newer one out too but I can't think of the name. I really enjoy his writing and how he brings forward the wisdom of the ages in a fresh way. The Power of Now helps me alot to settle the rapid thinking that goes on in my head sometimes. It is really about meditation. Also Dr. Wayne Dyer has been writing a lot recently about the Toa and it adds another dimension to this kind of positive energy and remaining present based approaches. Applying the principles and practices of meditation and positive thought energy to strengthen and focus a person forward. At least that is how I apply it while I need reminders of how to cope with the urges to give in to the negative sadness that can be very front and centre somedays.

At the end of the day it is like you say Marjn a choice to just wait a moment, breath and set yourself free from the past attachment with thoughts that are positive and separate from people or things that no longer define us. It is what can spring us forward into the new possibilities. Letting go of attachments to past loves is how we open the door to future loves..... or careers or dreams of children or anything else we want to welcome into our lives.

For many years now I have been mourning the loss of my career and berating myself for letting go of 'the perfect job'. Blaming my illness for ruining my life. I have just recently come to understand.... and this discussion has reminded me again.... how by staying attaching to the memories of the job and my version of how I lost it I was preventing myself from blossoming onto a new career journey. I was trapped into thinking I would never rise again. I am working hard now to break that attachment and replace the recentments with appreciation for what was so that I can finally let go and move forward. So that I can have eyes to see and a heart to embrass what is ahead instead of dwelling on a romanticize version of what is now behind me. While Dennis and my job shaped me in many ways they need not hold me to that same shape.

Because of our past attachments there is much for all of us to look forward to with apprecation as times and experiences shared rather than sad reminders of dreams and futures lost. Nothing is lost. The journey has simply taken a change in direction we hadn't expected. Our choice now is to embrace the future.

Okay.... enough of my rambling here. Just got me fired up with optomism thinking about the positive side of the coin. Feels good. Happy day!! By choice and by my intention. lol.

Be well....