(((exotic))) you have a lot going on, no wonder you feel like you are struggling to hold it together! I can relate to missing T when she is gone, or sometimes just between sessions even. It's good that your T emailed you, at least you can have some contact between now and your next session!

As far as your former T and feeling like you are intentionally hurting him, I look at it more like it is the repercussions and consequences of HIS actions coming back to bite him in the butt, not something YOU are doing.

sorry about the guinea pig, that is so hard to watch our kids try to understand a loss like that. Our family dog is dying and will probably be put down this week, so I know how you feel. So sorry for you and your kids.