Hi Inky,
Things sound really tough right now. I hope tomorrow is a bit brighter. Please try and take care of yourself. Did you ever try seeking out someone to talk to, like a councilor? Sometimes you can find someone good just by asking in an office at a hospital or med stop. I found talking to a councilor very helpful when I was at my worst. So much better than talking to family - kind of like having someone who is on your side and you don't have to put up pretenses with. Eating is super hard when life is making you sick and angry, I know that. Please try to eat a bit thoughm to keep up your energy. I found those nutrition drinks to help - or even just milk. My thoughts are with you.