There was a recent thread where someone’s spouse felt that they rely on there therapist too much, this is something I have worried about.

For some time I have felt that I was too dependant on my therapist, and I have always questioned my motivation for seeing her. Do I really need help or are my motives more selfish, any way you look at things it is very nice to spend an hour with someone who is paying complete attention to you, trying to see things from your point of view, understands your weakness, gee I could keep going but I’m sure you get my point.

Looking forward there is no way I can avoid feeling conflicted about why I am seeing her, but when I look backwards I can clearly see how she has helped me so much, clearly she has saved my life, probably more than once.

So how can I really know were to draw the line between being too dependant on her and seeking her guidance in a totally healthy way to improve my life? I don’t think it is possible to ever honestly answer that question. Also is important that I do so? Probably not (but willing to entertain others thoughts). Is it necessary that I resolve my conflict that I feel regarding my therapist? I certainly hope it is not (but once again willing to hear what others think) I don’t think it is possible for me to resolve this conflict, and while I question my motivation for seeing her I don’t stress over the fact that I continue to see her. Is it wrong for me to continue to see someone who has helped me SO much in the past if my current reasons are completely selfish? Yea I have to say it would be wrong, wrong on a lot of levels. But I don’t doubt my motivation today any more that I doubted my motivation when I first began seeing her, so knowing how much she has helped me in the past and knowing how messed up I still am I don’t feel bad about assuming that while I have reasons to doubt my motivation that doubt isn’t a reason to stop therapy.

Dependency is another issue, how dependant is too dependant? Would my life suddenly end if she stopped seeing me? No, but it would be a huge shock/adjustment not something I want to think about. Here is something that I do wonder about though, how do you sever your dependency on a person that your continue to rely on for support? Seems a bit like trying to get rid of your dependency on nicotine while you still smoke. Can it be done, and if so should you? My gut reaction is no you can’t and if you could you shouldn’t.

Sorry for rambling for so long and saying so little