I was diagnosed with depression back in 2006, since then I was under the care of my GP, CPN, psychologist & numerous psychiatrists.

Last year I decided to take a break from all professional help, it's been almost a year since I seen my GP, CPN & psychologist. My last psych appt was in October & I was discharged from her care then. If I'm being honest I wasn't ready to be discharged but it was something I fought for, partly because they weren't helping me at that point & partly because I wanted to see if I was strong enough to 'go it alone'.

With hindsight it wasn't my greatest decision. So on Friday I am going to see my GP & to say I am terrified is probably an understatement. I am so apprehensive about the whole thing. I feel like such a failure, what will they think of me going back & seeking help so soon after being discharged?

I also have a few things on my mind, even though I am depressed there's been a few incidents where I have acted completely out of character. I am so ashamed regarding things that happened & things that I done. I've never spoke about it with anyone before, the only people that know are the people who were in my company at that time(s).

Is it worth mentioning these 'incidents' to the doctor or am I just making mountains out of molehills? And if I do mention them will they not wonder why I didn't mention them at the time?

Argh I feel like my head is about to explode with all this crap. Thanks for letting me vent a little.

Cyrus xx