I talked to T and I feel so much better. And you know what? I was right, he didn't type the e-mail. I guess he and whoever typed it (his wife?) do the same quirky thing in e-mails. How weird is it that T's wife typed an e-mail to me? Not in a confidentiality way, because my name wasn't on there, but in a...T's WIFE typed an e-mail to me!..kind of way.

I feel a teeny tiny bit spiraly after our conversation. I guess because truthfully (and I told him this) I really want HIM to feel better...and I was really scared and needed ME to feel better too. I guess I feel guilty that he needs to reassure ME when he is hurt. But on the other hand, I am very open with T about my toddler-like-neediness, and he said that it was really okay, so I'm just going to have to believe him.

I'm really glad he took the time to call me. And he'll be there for my session on Thursday, and that makes me happy.

I have GOT to get out of the spiral I'm in though. I told him something at the end of the conversation that I wish I hadn't said and now I'm playing it over and over in my mind. Oh well. I can't get it back now, and I know T doesn't expect me to be perfect. I think I was just being stupid because my emotions were SO high...between the fear and the relief. I didn't say a serious thing...just a stupid, jokey thing. Blah.

I should knit. That will help.