Moon,

I come from a very difficult family also, and left home at 18 and did not go back for years. So I do get what you're going through.

(In fact, I had to go home last weekend, and it was still a triggering experience. After all this time.)

But generally, I have found that the best way to get through it is:

- to try to take really good care of myself physically -- try to eat properly, try to sleep, try to exercise. Sleeping is the hardest, but I sometimes take one benedryl, if I really can't sleep. I try to walk for about an hour each day. It's soothing, and also it gets me out of the house. Eating -- that's tricky, when I'm upset, I can only eat things like bread and crackers. But I do try to stay away from junk food.

- lower my expectations. I know I'm not going to be able to do much, because I'm going to be all agitated, so I don't expect it. I try to give myself a few concrete, do-able goals. (And really, they can be something like: 'I will go for a walk today.') (Or, on some days: 'I will get out of bed and take a shower.')

- take things very slowly. I move slowly and try to be aware of my breathing and try to stay very present in the moment. It's the whole mindfulness thing, and in a way it's just a distraction, but it really helps.

- try to be very gentle and caring with myself. This is hard, because usually I judge myself brutally. But I try to remind myself that this is difficult for me, and I try to be understanding of me.


I don't know what else to say, I wish I had something more concrete to offer you. But here are these ideas, anyway, and maybe you can make use of them. Be gentle with yourself. Take care,

-Far