Dear, dear anderson, ((((((((((((anderson))))))))))))
You offer so many insight, a calm perspective, support, plus much more here on PC, yet my heart breaks for you that you have so much pain bubbling up from inside and out that you continue to endure.
PC is fabulous that we are all able to offer each other a kind word and non-judgemental ear, but I so would like to put friendly arms around you and give you a genuine heartfelt hug (if that would be alright). As I'm in another country to you, please wrap your arms around yourself and accept a hug from me to you

in friendship and support.
Here and listening,
kp