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He'll go for days or weeks acting irritated and taciturn, stomping around and making loud noises and saying very little to me.
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He does this
for weeks because he is not satisfied with how you do chores? Could it be that he is being unreasonable, if not abusive?
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plus the things he gets mad about are so reminiscent of my abusive mother's behaviours that I get extremely nervous and unhappy, to the point that I am desperate for the situation to end. I just sit there in silence, extremely anxious, and become incredibly meek and obedient to try to make him less mad.
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I'm so sorry that you suffer the pain of overwhelming nervousness, anxiety and desperation such that you are brought down to being "incredibly meek and obedient". Again: could it be that he is being unreasonable, if not abusive? And could it be that you accept the way he treats you because you are "used to it" from your childhood?