Elysium I found your response to be very helpful, thank you. I also found Anderson's response very helpful, too, in different ways. Solarwind I am going to look into IFS and see what it is you were referring to.

I am finding now that as I open up to my various parts, they are starting to emerge slowly and become more distinct. However still mostly out of reach. The other night I had 3 parts come to me as I was falling asleep. I didn't remember until the next day, and all I remember is that it happened, nothing else. I am taking this to have meant that they aren't ready and don't yet feel safe enough to emerge to my conscious self, but wanted me to know they were there. And that's ok.

I've been trying to allow myself the items/tools I need to feel safe/comforted happy. I bought a new teddy. I want to get some new crayons and coloring books. Purchasing old movies that gave me an escape as a child. And I can tell it is helping, but it is also causing a stirring deep inside that has caused a few eruptions in the past 2 weeks.

I have no official diagnoses yet, my T doesn't even want to talk dx right now, she just wants to work on starting therapy. I go to see her for the second time this Friday.

I would say just be patient and loving with all parts of yourself, allowing each of them what they need to feel accepted, loved, safe and ok.