i'm so sorry for all you've gone thru with your husband. it sounds rather complicated. have you and h considered couples counseling?

i do think one can have a friendship with the opposite sex and have it be fine though if one's spouse is cool with it. of course i know not everyone will agree with that. if one's spouse is fully aware of the friendship and it's conducted in the open and if the things you share with your friend are things you are talking about with your spouse then i think it's ok. that's not really much different then having a friendship with someone of the same sex. there's a blog i follow where the guy talks all about this sort of thing. it is coming from a faith-based perspective but he's got some great thoughts that i think anyone can benefit from.