talk with your therapist. they might have some ideas of how you can be less anxious and triggered during sex so that you dont dissociate. I was having that problem but after my partner and I talked with my therapist we found ways that would help me stay grounded at the same time enjoy intimate time with my partner.

you might want to include a talk with your therapist about the basics of sex like cumming isnt the same as having an orgasm. one of the things I had a problem with was that I thought cumming was the orgasm but after my therapist explained the basics I realized I not a man so I dont have "cum" and cant pass cum. LOL

Cum is semen the liquid that a man secrets before and during sex thats called the pre cum to help lubricate, and then when a man reaches the high point he ejaculates his cum (semen fluid that contains the same fluid in pre cum and sperm) during his orgasm.

a womans has a fluid thats called discharge or vaginal lubricant or vaginal fluid to help lubricate during sex too and then when they reach their highest point they have an orgasm. women don't always "squirt fluid" every time they have sex. they just feel real good and kind of shaky because their uterus and vagina are contracting, sometimes we women also get short of breath at this point too.

the only time us women "squirt" or let loose fluid during orgasm is if you have what is called a "G- Spot orgasm" theres a spot on the upper side of a womans vagina called the G- Spot. that spot if stimulated it will give you the feeling like an orgasm and at the same time feel like your bladder is full and then you pass fluid through the urethra (where you pass urine.). to find the G spot its the distance of the tip of your longest finger and index finger inside the vagina. you want to aim for the roof towards your bladder just above the pelvic bone.

if you are comfortable with it, you might want to learn to find and stimulate it on your own first so you can explain to your partner where it is so you can have G - Spot orgasms with him.

I used to think I was supposed to have an orgasm every time I had sex. it happens that way in all the romance books right why not real life. My therapist set me straight on that too. she said women don't get orgasms every single time they have sex. Sometimes the body is just too tired to react, sometimes medication makes it impossible to have an orgasm every time, sometimes the vagina just hasn't been stimulated in a way that would get the orgasm rolling, sometimes things interfere with it like not really being ready for intercourse yet. for some people it takes something called fore play. until both partners are ready for intercourse. Sometimes a woman tries so hard to have an orgasm that they end up short circuiting and not having one.

Talk to your therapist bet they can come up with some great ideas that you can be comfortable with to get the ball rolling for you.