Life is all about choices. You CAN ask for help, you are CHOOSING not to. We all need a sympathetic voice/friend. Life is very lonely without someone to care. you can CHOOSE life, you can reach out; you would be surprised at how many people are lonely and hurting and long to have a friend. When we take ourselves OUT of ourselves, it is amazing what can happen....in other words, volunteer in a nursing home, etc., etc....... Friendship is not weak, nor is asking for help.....it is what life is made of. Being lonely is terrible.

"I want to but I can't"----Yes, that is twisted thinking. You CAN...it is a choice. Why not try reaching out and ignore those thoughts (which are not true) and see what happens; it couldn't be WORSE than what you are going through now.