Sannah- I really don't know, they keep asking but, how do you tell something so personal, even to the professionals. I also sometimes think that if I verbilze it then, I'll do it more or it will become more intense. If I say it, then there is a possiblity that it will get worse. At least that is how I see it.

As for the other part, I'm not sure what I ment. It almost seems like I was in another world when I wrote it. Let me try again. I know that who I was before this happened is there somewhere, But it seems like all of the voices, all of the thoughts dealing with SI, all of the distress. Is connected to who I once was. (I think that makes more sense) Is it weird to say that if I to tell people about the voices, Si, and the distress. that it will grow to more intesity. That if i let out (through voice) that I do these things, that they will become more of a pain.

For example, I've told my PDoc about the voices, and how controling they seem, and the voices seem more there, EVERY STINKING MOMENT! If I tell them how I SI then I'm taking a step that could be good but could not be. It could only be one more step in the wrong direction that finally gets to me, and I take the only way out, because I can't take it any more.

Does this make any sense to anyone out there. I just don't know if it will or not.