Sorry everyone.......don't want to disagree as anything is possible.....

But I have AS and it took 36 years to work it out. I have, in the past, displayed huge NPD traits as well as BPD, ASPD, PTSD and GAD......as well as bipolar.....

My behaviour certainly reflected a terrible attitude in an extreme degree. I was accused of not having a conscinece, of feeling no remorse, of basically being a monster, or "showing inhuman characteristics". It was an extremely isolating way to live and to be. I had a conscience, I felt great remorse and I loved deeply. I just couldn't process it, or could not show it in a way that others understood, and was called "cold and remote".

I could lie for self-preservation, but could not lie if someone asked me straight out for the truth. I was not manipulative, but had intelligence on my side and to save myself from danger I often told people what they wanted to hear. I had spent all of my life studying people, trying to process, trying to understand.......so I could keep myself safe. I can mimic people in an uncannily weird way, to the point that it unnerves my fiance and hold a conversation with the best of them. My social skills are excellent, I am very polite, well-groomed and have impeccable manners.

But this was me ALL the time. I judged situations constantly, and I was always exhausted. The REAL me can love and feel great compassion. I am very fond of animals and have a strong morality and ethical nature.

So my behaviour severely belied how I felt, and over the years my self-esteem eroded under the heavy mantle of what nasty names I had been called all my life, that I started to believe it. It took a wonderful, intelligent and shrewd psychologist to work out the inconsistencies and provide me with the intensely liberating appraisal that it has been AS all along, and that I am a deeply caring warm human being, even if I don't know that it is not showing on my expressionless face and monotonic voice.

I agree that if the friendship is becoming toxic, some distance may be good. Afterall, no matter what you friend is dealing with, they still need to be responsible for their own actions and use self care.

Take care dear person......look after #1......

You.

In stillness,

Michah