I have horrible depression, but at times it can change. But it only changes back to a typical normal mood. Last night, as I was trying to forget about my horrible life, I suddenly had the urge to cut myself. I thought about how back then, I thought it was hilarious that people cut themselves and how stupid and annoying emos are. But now I am an emo and I am this close to cutting myself. I thought about how the pain could go away with just another pain out weighing it. I quickly looked around the room for anything that I could use. I found a razor and was this close to cutting myself. I was so close to cutting myself but I couldn't do it. Something told me that I shouldn't. I thought about how worthless I was and how no one needed me so who cares if someone hurts me, or even if it is myself. People tease me about being emo so much that I have believe that I am truly and emo. I can't stand being around myself. And suicide, my family doesn't deserve that. All this pain is building up inside of me and cutting myself seems like my only escape... No, escape is my reality. Sigh.