The outsiders won't stop exerting their power over you until you do something to stop it. I have been in similar situations also. I had to learn how to turn my back on those people and disassociate myself from the promises and lies that they held over me. I'm not saying that this is easy by any means. It's a huge decision and a big life changing step to take. I was scared to death of being totally alone for the first time in my life, but I chose to give up my friendships with anyone that I didn't trust (at that time, there was only 1 person in the world that I trusted and they couldn't offer any more help to me than just moral support over the phone). I did odd jobs in the communities where my car ran out of gas to make a little money for food and a campsite to stay at. I ended up getting a few jobs through temp services in a town where there was no influences for me and eventually I moved out of my campsites and tent into an apartment. Finally my parents were able to help me out a little and I was able to get myself back on track again a little bit, and after that is where the internal healing began for me. My point is this, I didn't have the means at the time to get away from my situations but I made a conscious choice to get away from my abuse and stuck to it. I may have had to do a lot of disassociation to others and myself, but I am now a better person because of that. I still deal with my alters and things not going the way I wish them to, but at least I got away and I am able to make a choice what steps to take next in my life. Like so many here, I give much of the credit of my continuing inner healing to those here at pc. My heart goes out to you Anderson. You're a very intelligent and caring person that shouldn't have to deal with the cards you've been dealt. Hope I've provided some type of light for you here.