life goes on...
didn't freeze my butt off
took a mirror to check, it's still there

saw the beautiful blond babies this day..years old--2-5-6
pre-planned visit, deep breathe then did it
90 minute drive was good, drove out of the sporadic sleet
into sun and winds bringing goosebumps from the cold

sat with my back to the wall
son knows the signs
gentle hug, squeeze on my shoulder

what's the matter? baby girl asked
i'm sad today
can i make it better?
wet kisses, where-have-your-fingers been on my cheeks,
now, now, it be ok
competition from the boys
lots of kisses, nose forehead ears
one pat on the head from each
you better? yes...
three went back to the business of being innocent

sat there, weeping
son came and sat with me...silent but I still heard his prayers
dil got the colonel's chicken
stripped that breast, slurped the potatoes
stopped wolfing,
not time for my shift,
not grabbing anything resembling food to get through...
more hours of blood, bullets, holding the pee
1/2 faces, burnt flesh, their bravado gone, ours still holding

could have laid on their floor and slept
drove back, heater on high, windows on low
the three that is me blended
just me now
sleep in the chair, can see both doors
guarding I know not what

think I'll get those strings of sleep
these frigging times suck ya dry
rehydrate soon