I am so glad to hear that you chose not to cut yourself. Once you start it is a slippery slope and a very hard habit to break. I have scars that will never go away. Cutting only relieves emotional pain (in my experience) for about 10 or 15 minutes. Then, all of the emotional pain comes crashing back ON TOP of the physical pain. Also, I tend to feel guilty about cutting, so the emotional pain is actually worse.

I am writing this response, though, to tell you that you are NOT worthless. I am so sorry if the people in your life make you feel like you are... and it can be so hard to believe that we matter. People suffer with depression for some pretty serious reasons. And they are often linked inseparably with the events and people in our lives that have caused our low self esteem. I don't have the answer or the magical cure for this, I suffer with feeling worthless all the time. But I can tell you that the people on this forum, at least, want to hear what you have to say. You matter.