going to start with the fact that it took me 8 years to get my BS degree in Accounting & computer Science......so don't sweat the length of time it takes you.....get that off your stress list.....so you can start working on some of the other issues.

I will say the one thing that I kept telling myself....you college education & future are your only ticked OUT OF WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW & WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN. You need to focus on this in the future so you don't mess up college completely & loose that ticket out of the horrible life you have had to put up with so far......no need to continue to have to put up with something you don't like. That is probably the only thing in the whole mess you do have any control over.

I do think that taking what you wrote here to your counselor is a wonderful idea......he needs to undertand what you are going through so he can help you salvage what ever you possibly can this semester & understand what you are going through so that he can understand why college is so important for you to get out of that mess also & help you plan the future of your college so that you can successfully get through it.......even if that means taking less classes each semester & taking a few years longer to get your degree.....NO BIG DEAL....but it is a big deal to get through college & successfully climb out of the messy place you are in......if he reads what you wrote, he will have a better understanding of the situation you are in....which will allow him to help you plan wisely your future for success......which is what everyone wants for you....including what you should want for yourself.

Will say that mistakes happen & sometimes children are the result.....but God has a purpost for every child that is born whether we can see it at the time or not. That purpose isn't being what you have been for your mother or siblings either.....it's a higher purpose than that. Sometimes it's necessary to dump our past....it's over & done with.....the people have messed us up as much as we want to allow them to & we need to break from that & get on with our lives. I know that going to college, you are probably tied financially to your mother & family.....sometimes we just have to grin & bear it until we get through, say our thank you's get on with the life we need to have & put the abuse behind & make our own lives into what we know is right (not following their poor values or morals standards).

It is important to care for ourselves....our value doesn't come from what value our parents put on us....it come from the place we hold in this world & the path we have to walk & the people who are a positive influence in our lives not the ones we feel tear us down......the only thing we need to learn from them is that we don't want to be anything like them.....& throw the rest away.

I know that you are going through a horrible time right now......counselors know that students have problems & sometime have semesters they need to scratch off the books due to problems.....they are also there to help you succeed & help you plan for success not failure.....so it is important to let them know the facts about what you are dealing with so they can help you plan & help you get the help you need to deal with all of this also......be open to the suggestions & see what they have to offer to help you get through this rough time.......by going, it will also help you feel better because they will be able to help you get some of the stress gone for this semester & know what you need to do about it.....maybe you can only save one class, but that's better than none at the rate you are going.....your counselor can help you work out a plan rather than having you continue to stress over it.

GO TO THAT APPOINTMENT TODAY>>>>YOU WILL FEEL MUCH BETTER IF YOU DO.

Wishing you the best.......your parents are insensitive & cruel the way you have been treated & still are being treated by your mom. Don't be surprised that if in your future there is a time where you have to separate yourself completely from your family so you can take care of yourself......but first take care of getting through college so that you can make a life for yourself. All we ever can do is take care of ourselves #1.......if we don't love ourselves, we can't love anyone else (which is probably why you aren't feeling any reall love from anyone around you because they don't love themselves).....just because someone throws out the word love....doesn't mean there is any feeling behind it if they have no idea what love really is....

Take care of yourself & love yourself......sometimes it feels like it's you against the world.....that is when you need to stand strong & care about yourself & the difference you really can make in life....you can do it.....but it doesn't feel like it when you are stressed & worried.....things will look up in the future....but you are the one that has to keep the light on & keep focusing on the end of the tunnel & your way to freedom.


Debbie