((((((((((((((((((( tree )))))))))))))))))))

I have told T, "I realize I am just one hour out of every 3-4 weeks of your life. If I failed to come back, it wouldn't make any difference to you, not really" (read: not the same as the difference it would make to me if SHE simply didn't come back). She looked at me with such sadness, and said, "you don't think much of yourself do you?" (of course I don;t) but neither did she contradict what I said.
I am literally 0.0015 of her life.

Dear Tree, needing to manufacture a rupture and needing to prove that you're really really safe with T are two sides of the same coin. The trauma person tests and tests and tests, because trauma shatters the concept of safety that is essential to living in the world. Much of the healing process consists in the person coming to a new understanding of relative safety. Not that there are no threats out there, but that not everyone is a threat. This is what I get from Judith Herman and James Chu, anyway.
I am so sorry for the way little Treehouse was treated.