So my new T just calls. Here I am thinking everything went just about as good as it could have gone, looking forward to Friday evening for visit #2. And she tells me that she basically isn't comfortable seeing me until I've been evaluated/consulted with a PSYCHIATRIST first. She was really vague and sort of indefinite and I was really pretty confused, like, what exactly are you trying to say. Do you want me to come back or not. Her call was originally about the fact that some of her clients were calling to cancel because of the snow. I wasn't aware that we were having another blizzard, and she wasn't telling me NOT to come in. I just didn't get it. I still don't. Then I'm asking her, well, is there someone you want me to see, and she's vague and indefinite about that. She gives me the name and number of someone but it sure doesn't sound like she knows anything about her other than her name. And so I ask her, well what do you want me to do, do you want me to come in tomorrow or not. And she tells me she'll hold my spot and wait to see what the psych says. Well, since it's Thursday, and our appointment is tomorrow, there is no chance I'm getting in to see this other woman before then. So obviously she doesn't want me to come tomorrow. And I DON'T want to go see another psychiatrist because I have no interest in being coldly calculated, AGAIN and served up a nice little answer in an envelope. It seems like we're at completely different places from where we were when I left on Friday and where we are now. Why wouldn't she have told me THEN that she wasn't comfortable with continuing to see me because I'm too much for her, or whatever, why would she have waited until Thursday afternoon to call me and tell me this. And then not even plainly say what it was she was trying to say. It's like she was scared to speak or something.

I guess I'm far more screwed up than I realized.

I'm wanting to call the whole thing off and say never mind, you know what, just don't worry about it.