Thanks so much everyone.......really nice feedback

Sannah, to answer your question, this is something I will definitely bring up when I next see my T. I find it quite fascinating that I reacted the way that I did. I did not realise that it still had so much power.......that it put me on "alert" for want of a better expression. That it made me angry, so much so that I am a little hesitant about the next time I speak to my mother.

I divorced my mother for 10 years to get myself better. It was just healthier that way. And in that time I tried to talk alot about what happened, but my long term memory is shoddy and broken. So, unfortunately, my recollection of events in any fluidity is unsupported in a bad way. I just can't remember. I have tried regressive therapy, hypnotism and so on. I began to think I had dreamt it all!!!

But my first T was insistant and after 7 years of therapy, I had my first dream about my childhood and the effect of this "3 second" dream was beyond endurance, it seemed......terrible.

It is hard to talk of things you can't remember.......my brain processes things that are evidence based, that have logic. If I can't recall the evidence, my brain simply doesn't recognise it. I am wondering if that is to do with the AS........so I really struggled with the validity of my childhood, but couldn't shake the feeling that some really bad stuff happened. It can be very frustrating and tiring, as I am sure it that way for most people dealing with trauma.......that parts of history skirt on the periphery and the more we try to see it, the more it alludes us

Sorry for rambling on.......your question got me thinking. Thank you....

Cheers everyone......I feel better now

Michah