I am a 29 y/o female. As a child, I was always anxious and worried. As a teenager, I became severly depressed and suicidal, with a very low self esteem. As my early 20s came around, I began to notice not only the depression, but my mood cycling. I have peices of paper that I have wrote down my feelings on and to this day, still have from years ago that descibed how I felt. Just before I entered nursing school (the first time), I had my first breakdown. By that, I mean a loss of functioning, motivation, and depression. As far as mania, I would have to say I was also expreincing mixed signs at the time as well. I dropped out of nursing school as a result of this. It was devstating, not only to me, but my family as well. I had wored so hard and was able to work so hard probably because of the mania to an extent. Went back to nursing school, had more problems with mood and saw pdoc. Was diagnosed with bipolar and my school worked with me so I could complete my classes.
Today I am an RN and I passed my state board the 1st time with the min # of questions. It has been almost 3 years ago that I graduated. It was hurtful to go through what I have gone through. To always feel like the outcast, either actual or percieved. To have people talk about me. I get lonely. It is helping me to write this right now. I use food as comfort, and as a result deal with my weight problem and the insecurity that comes from that.
I do see a pdoc regurally, and take my medication. My illness has still interfered with my career. The stress gets too much or I have problems socially with people and do not know how to deal.

My hope is that someone will read this and understand my pain. I want people to be encouraged and know that others are dealing with similar issues and you can make it. I am still hear. I thank God for the days that he gives me.

Thanks for reading my story and forgiving my excessive use of commas!