There will be other times, that's the only problem. Just because they're abusive doesn't mean I want to completely block them out. The only problem is that unless I decide to I'm not going to get better and that problem will still be there.

My mother loves him yet he abuses her too. She tries to hide it but I can see the pain in her eyes. I know it's not productive for me but I feel like if I'm around he abuses me and not her, which is for the most part true. It would temporarily alleviate some of her pain. That's why I go back, not for me but for my mother. (this time it just so happens to be for my grandpa as well...) It's ultimately her decision to stand up to him but both my mother and I find ourselves powerless in this situation. I'm 22 and powerless against him. It's hard to stand up and fight when you've been belittled and kept down for so many years.

I looked through the pages of the thread and it's a bunch of the same things. I feel like I'm going around in circles and not making any progress.