G'day, No_longer_sane!

I have strong intropunitive urges, which are largely held in check by my medications and - ironically - depressive apathy. Sometimes I feel guilty and deserving of punishment or worse just for being alive.

Perhaps it might be useful to lay aside the idea of "normal" temporarily. I conclude these exaggerated feelings of guilt and urges to self-punishment are at very least ineffective ways of dealing with my reality; they neither make life better for me nor for those few around me. My decision is to counter these urges as best I can, using the tools I have.

By the way, far from thinking you are "hogging" the forums, I appreciate your airing what troubles you. You are probably posting for who knows how many others. You're doing them, and us, a service.