I very much relate to what you said siempre nada. For me it was growing up and being told through out my childhood that my needs were selfish. When became an adult and started working on my depression issues I realized that I was doing what you describe. I'd "bake the cake" or whatever, unconsciously hoping that would get others to like me and treat me better.
When I started to not accept being treated in a disrespectful manner and stopped trying to get people to like me, I felt better about myself. That helped my depression and taught me, slowly, how to just be myself. To be who I was at any moment, happy or sad, crabby or bored, sweet or generous, etc.
Do not accept unacceptable behavior was my motto through out that time, and I sometimes still need to remember it.
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