What he meant is that we DO talk about the fact that we care about each other, I am very open about the fact that I am very attached, etc. But we don't talk about sort of the...scientific? (can't think of the right word) side of attachment. WHY we attach, what feels good about being attached, what feels bad about being attached, etc.

I know what you mean about how difficult it is to listen to T say nice things. It IS hard to tolerate. I dissociate and can't pay attention.

T left a message for me last night and he sounded so sad. He let out a big heavy sigh and said that he was struck by how sad I was when I talked about being scared that I am not lovable. Hearing him feeling so honestly sad about my sadness made me feel cared for more than any words he could say. It's times like that when I really can feel and understand that T really does care about me.