Yes I know about dulling the pain. It distracts me from what seems overwhelming. I've cut and otherwise physically harmed myself in many ways beginning at age 14 and I am now 56. Yes, it's a part of me. It's kept me from taking me own life I believe. But the shame and the sadness of me doing that to me. I am so sorry for that little me inside that wishes for the punishment. So sad.

Primarily I use the rubber band snapping on my wrist to help get me through bad times. Going to pdoc for 12 years now has helped. No sutures during this time from self cutting. It's better, I'm better.