I talked with my T this week about what is happening in class and my discussion with my professor. She was really supportive about dealing with my professor. Though I don't think she totally understands my issue of talking about it with my professor. I think she believes that everyone would be accepting. I'm not so sure. I think that she is overly optimistic and thinks it is my fear that is getting in the way of talking about my problems with my professor. I'm afraid that he would think I wont be able to do the work I want to do and I wont be able to get the letter of recommendation that I need. I'm afraid if he knows/figures it out, he will think I can't do what I want to. It seems like she doesn't think there is stigma out in the world and that even if there is it doesn't affect him. How does she know? She doesn't know him. I could be totally screwing myself over if I did bring it up.

She also thinks that the problem I'm having in class when I get really anxious might be really quickly dissociating. I don't know why my professor scares me so much. I know I get scared with people in position of authority. I have been afraid of other people. But right now my other professors don't make me as scared as he does.