Quote:
Originally Posted by jexa
I am handing her all my bags, letting her break down all my defenses, and we've only just begun. She has only just started getting past my barriers. And my emotions are going haywire from the danger this brings!
Spotted -- "Acting accordingly" would be remembering to be gentle with me. She is always gentle with me, but I want to make sure she stays that way and remembers the power she has. I want her to tread lightly and notice my feelings for her.. but without mentioning them because that is too intimate for me. Haha. I need to go slow. Not used to this kind of crazy intimacy.
field -- Agh! My first reaction to your post: NO. My heart is pounding just thinking about telling her how I feel about her. Wow, I don't even think I could get the words out!
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I can relate so much to what you're saying....my T has never uttered the word "transference" to me--labels aren't her style--but it's definitely there and it is excrutiating at times. I have great impulse control, so I never had let her know just how intense my feelings were....until recently.
Now that I'm facing early termination of therapy, I've had to face all my attachment/transference issues. I've been more honest with T about how much she means to me, and her response has been amazing. It makes me wish I had been more forthcoming earlier than now.
If I had known how healing and comforting it is to address the attachment issues, I would have done it much much sooner.
You have to do what you feel comfortable with for sure, but if I think testing the waters and sharing a little piece of what you feel (in an email or whatever) is great. I hope you get the careful, supportive response you deserve and can open up more...