Oh dps, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((dps))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I'm so glad that some light has come and you can see you are in the here and now. I fear that horrible trembling body-core cold, I fear that wind that howls my name as it blows at my house where I mostly feel safe, and I fear the unquenchable thirst that comes to me no matter how much water I drink. I understand the gut-wrenching angst that overwhelms, that makes us want to 'go home' even though we 'are home', when nothing we see around us makes sense or makes us feel any better. But for us, then the sun returns, and it is the sun that makes me warm. I moved state to follow the sun and be where it is warmer, to a place where there is plenty of water around me with the lake and the ocean and sun to warm and soothe my soul. Although here too I still have times where I want to 'go home' where the cold still finds me, but the sun comes quicker for longer here and the times I am afraid are less. I hope that you too find your sun, that you are able find a 'cure for your cold', even if it is a temporary one to help you through the immediate darkness. I hope you are ok now.

kp