(((((((((loveregardless))))))))))

The parallels in our lives are quite fascinating and interesting! It certainly seems you and I have similar outlooks on life.

I'm so sorry you feel so alienated by your T. Honestly, she sounds totally unprofessional and incompetent...and I agree with one of the comments (forgot who said it) about letting her know how she has made you feel before she goes 'bumbling on to the next client'. I don't blame you for not wanting to see or speak with her again, but maybe you could write her a letter. You have such lovely and articulate language and grammer, and write your feelings so understandably here on PC, I'm sure that a letter sent would help you unload your disappointment and feelings of abandonment and restore back some of your power. Just because your T clearly has issues, don't let it get you down. It just means that there is another and better T out there for you. As you say, she just wasn't the one. See her as a practice run - you can say all you need to say! You'll be so much more prepared for the next T.

I've had some absolute doozies. I had one who had a full-length mirror placed behind me and she would ask me questions but look at herself in the mirror instead of looking at me when she spoke. I had one who would play solitair on the computer - which I could see!!! - while I was in session. I had one who would pick his fingernails with his pen the whole time, and I had one who would cry when I told her stuff (stuff that I didn't even think was all that bad - just stuff!) and one who could never remember my name. Over the past 20 years, having more T's and, like you, more dx's than I could poke a stick at, I've come to realise that they are just human. People who chose, and goodness knows why, for one reason or another (some because they are as 'rescuers' or 'martyrs', and some because they think they are so much smarter than everyone else that only they know whats going on inside someone elses head) to go to school and learn to be a T, and like all industries, the mental health industry has its dropkicks and morons who should've chosen to do something else! And to finish off my little rant, here's a nice cliche for you - IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S HER!! Stupid woman. A good T is a gem, and I am blessed to actually have two working simultaneously with me - but the way I look at it, for all the crappy ones that I've been through, I deserve these two good ones!

Sorry its long, really just wanted to say don't give up.

kp (just reread post - started out as Jenni, but you ended up with me - oops ).