It went so well, and I"m so proud of myself, so proud of myself.

I was fidgity all evening and kept running to the bathroom (when I get nervous or anxious my bladder gets weak it seems )

After dinner we went and had coffee, and caught up over everything that happend in the last week, I told her I had something to tell her, and got anxious lost my nerve, but she was patient with me and said I didn't have to tell her anything I wasn't ready to or didn't want to, we sat in Starbucks for an hour, all the while her reassuring me that after 15 years of friendship that there was nothing I could do or say to make her angry or to make her not want to talk to me.

We finally went and sat in her car (it was so busy in Starbucks I couldn't feel comfterable enough to say it) and I wrote the beginning of it on a piece of paper,

and to my suprise.............

She squealed gave me a giant hug and preceded to ask a million and one questions! She didn't throw me out of her car, or yell at me, and wasn't angry at all!

I told her everything, and how that morning me and bf had gotten in an argument about the "secret" thing, and how it made everything more diffcult, and he had hung up upset and frustrated with just a "I love you, I"ll talk to you sometime this weekend"
she then looked at me and says "go fix it silly goose!!, fix it fix it fix it!!!""

so I texted him, haven't heard anything back (not unusaual on the weekend, both of our weekends are hectic and busy, so we usually don't talk or even hear from one another on the weekends) I'm anxious to hear back from him, I hope I didn't make the move too late, but even if I did.... at least I tore down a wall, I took a HUGE step foreword and breaking my "secret keeper" role,

I feel so...great (is that odd?) I woke up this morning and just felt like I had climbed over the biggest wall in the whole wide world....