I understand I think.....

I don't want to live anymore I have to as I have children who need me, I have in the past tried to kill myself (I am greatfull on behalf of my children I didn't manage it). However if death faced me then it would be a relief not a terror.

I am not scared of situations or people either ever since I realised I don't actually want to live for in my head what is the worse they can do to me ? Kill me ? Do me a favour ....