I called that number, googley, and talked to...someone, I have no idea actually who it was. While I was on hold waiting for the person to answer the song that came on was one that has a great deal of personal meaning for me. I can't even describe the feeling, really, but hearing that song was pretty much all I needed to know I can get through at least one more night. If I believed in god I would say it was a sign. It was amazingly powerful.

I feel messed up and scared that my T is mad at me, but I'm not going to od tonight. I think I can go to bed and think about the reasons I have for living instead of the other stuff, including a certain concert I'll be attending this summer where I'm sure to hear that song and many others that mean so much to me.

Thank you so much, pc friends, for being here. Nobody else was, for various reasons. You guys helped me SO MUCH tonight.

farmergirl, to answer your question, because my van is broken down so I don't have transportation. I guess if I had to I could call 911 but...yikes