I too have a lot of sexual issues. I had a wonderful therapist that I was working with for almost 7 yrs and I NEVER brought it up. My current T and I have been working together for about 2.5 yrs and I finally got up the nerve to open up the discussion. This is how I did it, "My friend, X, thinks I really need to start talking about my issues with sex in therapy. It is really hard for me though and I don't know how to start." She was very gentle with me and did a lot of filling in the blanks for me (i.e. I would hint at something and then she would guess until I confirmed she was right.) I also closed my eyes some of the time. Now we have been talking about these issues for 2 mos and I alreayd feel WAY more comfortable talking about it AND my issues have started to improve a little.

So, my suggestion is to work up your courage to talk to T. T's hear stuff like this all the time. My second suggestion would be to buy some books on the topics. I have recently been reading a book called "Healing Sex: A mind-body approach to healing sexual trauma" (deals with some of the issues you talked about, geared toward abuse survivors) and another books called "For Yourself: The fulfillment of female sexuality" (about achieving orgasm, much info on self-stimulation).

Hope this helps!

Best,
Emily