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Old Feb 28, 2010, 02:14 AM
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beatlesmarley beatlesmarley is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2010
Location: Nowhere. Just alone.
Posts: 184
Well. I went. I printed this out and had it in my pocket. I couldn't show her. I just couldn't. But I did open up a little bit. I didn't say much about how sad I am usually. Or how I don't seem to go "up" much at all anymore. Or about how I don't see any reason to live. Or that I had ways I could end it. And I said that the cutting had stopped. So I guess it was a waste. I thought I could do it and tell it all. But I guess not. Now what am I supposed to do? I'm probably going to be going regularly now on Saturday's. But she'll know I lied about cutting if I tell. And suicide and all of that. Why am I such a failure? I just can't seem to do anything right.
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"Though I laugh, and act like a clown, beneath this mask I am wearing a frown."
"My humor hides my pain but inside it still remains."
"No matter how far I run, I'll never be able to run far enough to get away from the memories you've left me with."
"I want to be left alone, but at the same time I don't..."
"Depression is like Quicksand. Its easy to fall deeper and hard to pull yourself out."
"I'm so lonely. Surrounded by people that know me but don't know a thing."
"Its like the world is trying to tell me that it doesn't need me anymore."
"
Sometimes i look in the mirror and wish i could see nothing"
"
I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying."
"This love, this hate, is burning me away."
"I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine for the very last time."