(((((((Miss)))))))

I have those thoughts: T is tired of hearing about this, I should move on, He wishes I would just be quiet, etc. Whenever I tell T, he helps me see those thoughts are coming from ME, not from him. It's hard for me to believe someone would sit there with me, week in and week out, and really WANT to be with me while I struggle with the same things over and over and over again. But T wants to help me HEAL, and he's not going to do that by telling me to "be quiet" or "grow up" or "move on". He's going to do that by being there, and being consistent, and being patient and caring and supportive and curious and open. Just like your T.

I was just thinking this morning about the desire to have T "fix" everything. It's just so painful that he can't, you know? It's such an young feeling. Like "somebody SAVE ME, already!". One of the most painful thing about therapy for me is that no matter what, even if he wanted to T couldn't fix everything for me. He can give me a boost, but I'm the one who has to crawl out of the pit.

to you. It's just so stupidly hard sometimes, isn't it??